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PANELISTS: Reverend Busuyi Olabode, Pastor Emeka Egwuchukwu, Pastor Dimeji Elugbadebo, Pastor Fisayo Elugbadebo, Pastor Tosin Gabriel
MODERATORS: Pastor Modupeola Thompson -Ehima, Pastor David Odegbaro
Pastor Modupeola Thompson-Ehima: We would be looking at the subtle trends that single believers are holding onto regarding humanity. Our panelists will also bring clarity to what the marriage institution is. We want to understand the revealed judgement of what marriage is and subtle trends that are bringing down our marriage institutions. We also want to be equipped against this opposition to our faith.
Pastor David Odegbaro: There is a general observation these days that young people who are singles have a challenge with the concept of service. They are unable to endure long under spiritual authority. They see discipleship and spiritual authority as a restraint against their breakthrough and manifestations. Hence many come out of school and go straight into ministry. What is the subtle nature behind this that makes a christian single see himself as disadvantaged when he is under a strong regiment of authority that determines his movement. Young people only serve as long as it is convenient.
Pastor Fisayo Elugbadebo: The issue of a single not wanting to serve either at work or in church is not a kingdom perspective. In the kingdom, there are godly ideologies that should guide our existence; service is one of them. It is possible for young people to start up their own ministry without serving; such do not carry God’s authority. Jesus spoke about this in Luke 16:12.
Luke 16:12 "And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which is your own?"
So it is a principle of the kingdom to serve others in every capacity God has given us. We must also know that the time of disengaging from that service is not in our hands. We must wait for the time when God might permit a release. Sometimes in such service, there might be no release; one might be required to serve for many years.
In former dispensation, people saw ministry as apprenticeship; hence they serve with the mindset of being released one day. A person might serve with the mindset to observe church administration and at other times even gather people to himself. This brought a lot of division in the body of Christ. This is not a mindset from God. The Godhead, though equal submit to each other and serve.
Phillippians 2:5-7
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men."
This is the kind of mind that ought to be in us as it is the mindset of the Godhead that we ought to emulate.
People say these days “Go do your own thing” “You can’t serve somebody forever”. But these are all wrong ideologies.
In the kingdom, the Holy Spirit and Jesus have been serving the Godhead forever. Hence the mindset that one cannot serve in a particular assembly forever is a gentilic mindset.
For instance, we see that Paul knew Timothy's Grandmother and Mother. This showed that they were all part of an assembly. From this we see three generations in the same church.
2 Timothy 1:5
When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.
We must begin to emulate this mindset that we can serve in a particular assembly except God permits one to be released to go elsewhere. We must never send ourselves. This mindset must also be in us in our workplaces. People move from one organisation to another without waiting on the Spirit for leading to move.
Every minister must know that it is good to serve without having your own. Authority will never rest on a man that seeks his own. One who has not washed the feet of his pastor in service cannot wash the feet of the saints. Such a person might be able to gather a congregation but their lives will not be changed.
Pastor David Odegbaro: We see this arrangement in people sometimes not even in wanting to start their own ministry but in them moving from church to church just so they can escape an arrangement not palatable to them in an assembly. People choose their spiritual fathers and mentors according to their heart desires. We would like you to touch things concerning the family sir. We also know that it is possible for some people to serve without having as much natural substances they want but that might be a means for them to tap into the provision of the community. Also, when it comes to serving in the family, we have a lot of crisis in that area. Single brethren stay with families but their hearts are not there because they see such arrangement as a restriction to their expression.
Reverend Olabode Busuyi: Service is a nature of God Himself. Service is commitment. Hence we see God sending His son as a servant not as a master.
Phillippians 2:7
“But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men.”
Though He was a master He showed His disciples an example of a life of service in telling them that the greatest among them would be the servant of all.
Matthew 23:11
But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.
Servant here is Diakonos which means service in menial things not in high things. It is day to day service that involves humbling oneself to take the form of a servant for a long time.
One who is not a good servant will rule wrongly. How good one will be as a master is how well he has served. The place of making masters is thus in service. This has to do with every area of our lives.
We must see ourselves as a helper to advance a cause not as one who wants to take the forefront in everything. We must desire to play a supportive role wherever we find ourselves. This starts from being children ourselves.
Many young people grew up in homes where they were served and so never went through the process of service; helping others to get things done. Most homes have this wrong frame. Some parents even think that they are giving the best to their children that way, unknown to them that they will only raise children who will get jobs but not be useful, as being useful is more than earning money.
Female children will eventually get married and be required to serve their husband and their household. Taking care of the household is service. One who is thus not trained to do that might get all the machines to do chores in a home but will eventually raise a generation of children worse than herself. Leading to the raising of a weaker generation. Life itself is not about how well things work for us but about how good we can apply wisdom where we serve.
The training of one who will be a leader is in basic things they learn in places of service and being guided to do things right. By going through this training such a person is able to acquire answers to many things. This can only happen in the place of service. There are avenues to serve in our churches and likewise in homes/within the family.
This is why we must sustain ancient orders that have worked in time past, otherwise we will produce monsters as time goes on. As success is not in how well a thing starts but how well it ends. Hence a youngman who is a leader in a campus fellowship who is being served and has everything done for him can bever be a good master nor advance the cause of the kingdom. Such a person may eventually have a church but he can only have a new age church not a kingdom church.
If our intention is to have a church with our names plastered everywhere we will have that and have followers but the end (product) of such a work is what matters. There is no point running fast on the wrong line. Hence for us, the way at the end of the day is how much we can please the Lord. Grace will not rest on us otherwise as God watches our service. This is the manner of a spiritual economy and one can read all the Bible and books but will fall short of the authority to save people. Hence Jesus' words to his disciples that the greatest amongst them will be a servant to them all.
Luke 22:26
“But ye shall not be so: but he that is greatest among you, let him be as the younger; and he that is chief, as he that doth serve.”
If this is the pattern we desire we must know that there is no shortcut to ascending but to pass through this process.
Hence it is advisable for every single person to get connected to a family so they can be framed as a tool of service. Man is a tool of service. For a man to be a good husband, he must serve his wife. The way to the top is to serve. one who is a great man will serve but a small man will avoid service.
We learn by applying ourselves to serve wherever we see a responsibility to serve. In that way we gain so much knowledge/wisdom. For instance, any lady who wants to be a mother must do well to get close to a family and be part of a system as it is a part of learning.
Service (just like doctrine) tampers with our frame/nature. Service is a way of breaking our will as we are unable do what we like but what is available. Service also has to do with giving. Hence one cannot live in a household and not give. We appreciate (increase) when we give. Hence we must learn the skill of giving even as we live in households because in marriage there would be need to give our all.
We must know that one who is not committed to the things of others cannot do his own well. This is not to ridicule us but to make us know that service is the best way to make a man or a woman be best prepared for the future.
Pastor David Odegbaro: Some people say that we are in an information age. Since we get new information by ourselves everyday why should we still follow this way of service as singles?
Pastor Emeka Egwuchukwu: The tendency of not wanting to serve has always been in the fallen human nature. Hence at the coming of the Lord Jesus, He came to correct that by saying that He came to serve and not to be served. Hence if we are following him, we ought to learn that.
Matthew 20:28
Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.
We do not know how much social media has helped to form mindset and trends in the past five years. Although these natures have been in existence, social media has escalated them. Not just by information, but it has also brought out some tendencies in us that had hitherto not found a means of expression.
Many in these times even use chatgpt to get messages to preach. Though it may sound well in the ears of men but it did not originate from the Spirit hence it cannot be life changing. This is because Chatgpt is a machine not a spirit. Jesus said the words that He speaks are spirit and life. Hence they are not just intellect nor instructions.
John 6:63
It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.
Growing up I heard messages like “serve your way to the top”. But the Holy Ghost came to me to correct that and He said “Don’t serve your way to the top. But serve as if you are going nowhere”. Hence all the places I found myself in I served as if I was going nowhere. And even now as a pastor I am still serving. This is a kingdom pattern that has to be restored.
Social media should not inform the culture of our lives as believers neither should it inform the culture of the kingdom. We have to go back to the ancient landmark. We cannot throw them away because of trends.
Somebody might say “But you didn't have these in your days”, we must know that there is nothing new under the sun.
The first person that stores data was God. For instance, when we look at a grain of corn, it contains so much data and information as life. Casting that seed to the ground will lead to it interpreting everything coded in it. Likewise a child formed in the womb.
We have hitherto given ourselves to sensuality (wisdom of this world) not the wisdom of God. The wisdom from above is peaceable.
It is possible to serve wrongly by hurting the one we are under with the intention to be released from service. This also springs from the place of not wanting to serve. We see this everywhere.
God is a God of process, law and order. Hence we must not allow social media steal process from us. Satan is the one who skips law and order in order to bring things to pass. When we follow Satan's way, we will become corroded.
Fathers want the spirit that has rested upon them to rest on generations after them. But the generation after are unable to receive such transfer because they never went through any process. Hence they did not have what it takes for spirit to rest upon them. The spirit that rest upon one whom God has led, chosen and dealt with is jealous and might even go with that man.
We saw this in the case of Elijah and Elisha. Elisha was a good example of one who was able to receive spirit through service. He followed Elijah and learnt ways, hence it was easy for him to see Elijah when he was taken from him. This is one of the things Satan is trying to rub this generation of; so that all we will be left with will be automated response from Artificial intelligence tools like chatgpt.
Pastor Modupeola Thompson-Ehima: Service is a way of the top. It is a culture that every one must have. What will not make one want to serve is the mindset of being a god. Service is not only doing what you have been told to do but it is in doing what you see to do. Hence one who is still struggling with chores still has a long way to go.
There is a trend of single people who are lightweight. In relating with them you find out that they are unable to sustain a conversation of faith. Hence they go through situations and are unable to handle them. They are not resilient neither can they deal with pressure. They give up easily. A lot of parents have cultured this in their children and rid them of having grit. Hence there is a trend in young people that make them unable to commit to task. We want single people to see that this is not normal and it is anti-faith. One clear thing about faith is dogged pursuit.
Pastor Tosin Gabriel: This is rooted in civilization cropping up in these present times. Going through rigour is a part of life and it is biblical.
Hebrews 12:6
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
Chastening is not just beating a person, it is training. You cannot be raised without passing through some rigour. Rigorous training is what makes us. Why we have singles who are lightweight and are not grave is because of the trend that is on the earth. In time past, those who acquire training through apprenticeship, not only learn the skill but also nature because they are made to run errands and do chores. This instills character and attributes that will make the skill last. But in the process of time we have seen that culture being eroded as one can for instance learn fashion designing in six months. Although we learn the skills, character to handle the skill is lacking. Rigour forms character in us.
We are in a time when success is promoted at the expense of character. What sustains success is character which is very important in all we do. This also dovetails to the reason we cannot hold doctrine without character. Doctrine is very rigorous, hence to hold doctrine, one must be thorough.
We are in a time when we have believers who cannot endure teaching for one hour. People become restless when ministration is ongoing. This is a problem that have to be corrected. It is not how our fathers were raised. This shows that we are trading some important things for success. Hence the need to revisit the foundation of building character which is done through rigour. Parents must be thorough in raising their children.
Pastor Modupeola Thompson Ehima: Lightness in both our single and married people might be responsible for some flippant words amidst young people. Young people these days can go as far as posting pictures of themselves unclad on social media.
Pastor Dimeji Elugbadebo: One of Satan’s designs in this present world is to build the world on a facade; to build based on externality, lacking substance. This is a perversion of God’s nature because everything about God is thorough and detailed. Everything in creation is detailed and goes through a detailed process.
Creation is built on cycle which sustains it. Satan perverted everything about God that has to do with nature, sustainability, cycle and process. Anything that does not go through process will not last. Likewise anything built on a facade and externality will not be sustained. Even ministry today are built on views and these has nothing to do with the quality of life that are raised. Hence we need to begin to raise standards again; standards of God’s definition of nature and preservation of what lasts. These standards are in the word and also in nature.
We must encourage this generation to understand that anything that will last and be of benefit to humanity must go through a thorough process. Also to understand that life is not just about results but about being framed to handle pressures that come our way.
True success is not just result, it is process. Once a process is established, then the end result will be established. One of the deceptions of the enemy is that process does not matter as long as we get to the end. This is why there is mass cheating in examinations, as people are no longer concerned about the process but about the result. We must know that character, process, details, nature and service comes first.
God puts service in creation as a means of blessing. For instance, naturally when we give we get in return, likewise if we serve, we are also served. Service is God’s design to preserve the purity of human character. Hence there is a need to raise standards again by the preaching of the word of God in its undiluted form. From Genesis to Revelation, we see God as a God of process, standard and of character.
Pastor Modupeola Thompson-Ehima: I want Reverend Busuyi to give us the definition of marriage according to God’s judgement and standards. Pastor Emeka will tell us what marriage is not. Pastor Fisayo on who a mother is. Pastor Tosin on who a father is and Pastor Dimeji on family life and household.
Reverend Olabode Busuyi: Family is not what we bring forth ourselves. It is one of the oldest institutions on earth established by God Himself. God ordained that there will be a covenant relation between a male man and a female woman. It is not a contract neither is it a court matter. It is an agreement where God ordained the man to be the head and the woman to be the helpmeet. God’s intention of dominion (not procreation primarily) is fulfilled among two people in a way that is different from one. Although there is a way a man alone can fulfil dominion mandate according to what is in one.
Deuteronomy 32:30
How should one chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight, except their Rock had sold them, and the Lord had shut them up?
Hence there is a wisdom of multiplicity that happens with two and they are no more two but one.
There is what happens in the Godhead who all have the capacity of the Father, yet one of them is the Father. The Word is the interpretation of the thoughts of the Father and the Holy Ghost is the executor of that wisdom. All of these nature are in each of them, yet they form a cord that cannot be broken. This is how heaven and earth were created. They are twain. The Godhead intends to birth what is in heaven upon the earth. Hence the earth is the womb of heaven. This is why sons are raised for God on the earth.
We do not know the beginning of the Godhead who have existed as one and have never tried to usurp each other. God is showing us how this can be replicated in humans.. Hence it is good for a man to not be alone. God in declaring this is aiming for what can be better.
The bond of marriage makes the dominion mandate stronger. Hence in God’s sight there is no room for separation when the union has been enacted; it is an everlasting ordinance. When God made this union there was no death. Hence nothing could separate them. Mariage is thus a covenant and commitment that ought to be sustained.
Malachi 2:14
Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
Covenant is an agreement that is sealed by blood. Hence marriage as a union is a sealing/bonding that is beyond sexual interocurse. It is not just for pleasure but it is a seal that the union is one that has been bound to be sustained. Hence one who knows this goes into marriage with reverence and a sense of readiness to keep the bond.
Divorce is alien to us as believers. Hence it will require serious matter to come into that. Jesus tied the only ground for divorce to the breaking of covenant which has to do sexual sin outside the marriage bed. Marriage is therefore a hallowed union where one cannot come into and desire to retain on his own. No one has his own in marriage. Both the man and the woman are required to invest their life to get what God wants.
Malachi 2:15
And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
What God is looking for is a place for godly seeds to express Him. These are seeds that will find place in God easily but they need a platform to start from. God expects that a child should have been raised from home before coming to church. He should have seen his parents first mirror a stature of growth before him. Hence the demand is first to be raised. This is why marriage cannot be taken carelessly. It is not a place to get our pleasure but a place to come and die.
God took out of a man to make the woman; this itself is a kind of death. This is why a man must give his life for her life and love her. Hence marriage is not in the ratio 50:50 it is rather 100:100, as each one is required to give everything. The woman in submitting will also give everything. This is what it takes for marriage to survive and to be what God has in mind.
Pastor Modupeola Thompson Ehima: The world has a definition of marriage that marriage is actually not.
Pastor Emeka Egwuchukwu: Marriage is not what man defines it to be. It is simply what God says marriage it is. This means that we have to go back to the scriptures to know it.
Genesis 2:18
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
So marriage is what God says it is, not what the society defines it to be. Satan is trying to redefine everything with civilization. Hence we cannot depend on any other source to define what marriage is to us.
Satan knows what marriage is and the eternal purpose of marriage but men are oblivious of the purpose of marriage. That is why we are handling marriage the way the world does.
For instance, there is a term now called a multi-specie family. It is trending in the western world now; a family that consist of human parents and animal children. This has been accepted as a norm. Some couples decide that they do not want to have children just to avoid the responsibility of raising children. Such couples would rather have dogs and care for them than have children. This shows the extent of Satan lies to man.
Family is the first institution; the reason for marriage and family is to keep Satan away from the earth. Because it is an institution of dominion.
Genesis 1:26
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
But as long as Satan can redefine marriage to us, we will not have the capacity to carry the dominion mandate that God intends for it.
Marriage is not cohabiting; this is a trend common among young people. Young people earn so much now to the point that they do not know what to do with it. Hence Satan creates pleasure for them to explore. Cohabiting is an aberration that is against order.
Marriage is what God says it is not what man says it is.
Pastor Modupeola Thompson Ehima: Pastor Fisayo who is a wife and who is a mother? Is a wife just somebody who bears children or stay at home? What is God’s standard of a wife and a mother?
Pastor Fisayo Elugbadebo: A wife is a female woman that is made for a male man as an helpmeet to fulfil God ordained purpose in a covenant. Nowadays we see wives who fight being used in marriage and who have the mindset of marriage being a contract. A woman engaged to a man is not yet a wife.
A mother necessarily might not be a wife. A mother is a nurturer; someone that builds up. We have some sisters that might not become a wife but they can raise people and build people. Every woman is ordained to be a mother. Marriage becomes easier when a woman can be a mother before she gets married.
For one to be a mother, it means that capacity has been built within such a person to raise people in the assembly of God. These children do not have to be biological children. A single sister living in a household can nurture the children, raise and build them up.
Every woman must be a mother. In order to fulfill God’s purpose, not everyone will need marriage. For example, Apostle Paul never got married yet he raised many. Hence a woman might not need the marriage system to fulfill the mandate of being a helpmeet. Motherhood is a part of the call to become a helpmeet to help raise godly seed. Raising here can be biological or spiritual. A wife should be a mother.
One of the reasons God created marriage is to nurture godly seed. Hence in the system of being a wife, there is also the mandate to be a mother. Raising godly seed is not only about raising one’s biological children or even spiritual children, it also has to do with God’s purposes on earth. For instance, God can raise a family as kingdom financiers to use their resources to fulfill God’s innovations and intentions on earth.
A family should be able to nurture God’s purposes, intentions and the lives added to that family until it fulfills that which God has ordained it to be. A wife is thus a helpmeet made for a man.
Young women sometimes get overwhelmed with this mandate, when they get married and give birth. But it is good for them to know that they were made for their husband; to serve him and help him in fulfilling God's purpose. A woman in that process must also be a mother. A woman must thus be able to build and see God’s project grow
Pastor Tosin Gabriel: A husband is a male man who marries the woman earlier described. This man is a God-made man; a godly man. God can use men to raise such a man.
God made the man first from the beginning.
Genesis 2:7
And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
When such a man has been built inside, It is easy to manage a woman like the one described. Women are able to multitask, hence the building of God that the man needs is the building of wisdom, character and patience.
A man is a windbreaker. He is stable. He is a tree that can protect and shield.
A husband is a listener. This means that he has the virtue of patience. Sometimes a wife can be overwhelmed but the husband must not be overwhelmed at the same time. The husband is a stabiliser; to stabilise situations. He must be a man in the midst of many troubles. There are men that leave their wife to face the heat. In the face of adversity the husband ought to be at the forefront.
A husband is a waymaker. He can craft way like God in the wilderness. By the wisdom of God, a husband must not be stranded; he is a visioneer.
A husband is one who leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife. Some husbands are so attached to their mothers; they compare their wives to their mothers and still prefer their mothers food to their wives.
Although a husband is a male man he needs a lot of formation to be built a husband. Not every male man will successfully be a husband without building and being fathered by a male figure. Hence every man must first be fathered to be a husband. One who would be a successful husband must be trained by another male figure who is a father.
God is our father but He has also given us fathers to raise us. A man who is not raised and trained by a father might not be a good husband. This is why God has given the church as remedy to that. We have our pastors who can serve as father figures to build and raise us.
What makes a husband is not money but virtue, character, stability and affliction (things that have built him to withstand pressure). These are the qualities that make a husband. A husband to a woman must be her lover and a listener; he must listen at all times. Every woman loves a man who listens.
A husband listens to his wife not unto sin.
Genesis 3:17
And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;
Some men have taken this text out of context and they use that to support the notion that they do not need to listen to their wives. We must know that God did not mean that the man ought not to listen to his wife. God meant he yielded to the suggestion of his wife who he had not stabilise in the face of pressure. Sometimes wives can be under pressure, but the man ought to stabilise them with godly principles and values. The husband is a covering for the woman.
Adam was not just supposed to be a husband but also a father.
A father is a representative of God to the children. A father should bring the knowledge of God to his children. God is invisible, hence a father should be a representative of God to the children.
A father is a builder. He is He who builds souls; not only those of his biological children. Every male man should be a father wherever he finds himself. To be a man is not even in age; a man can be forty and still be a boy without the right value system and right discipline. There are younger men who can father those who are older than them.
Every man must be a potential father and should be able to raise people. For example, Apostle Paul did not marry yet he fathered many. He fathered both people and churches.
1 Timothy 1:2
Unto Timothy, my own son in the faith: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord.
1 Corinthians 4:15
For though ye have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers: for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel.
A male figure should also be able to father a nation. One of the things we lack in the political system of our country is fathers; we have politicians in authority. A father brings godliness and order. He has the audacity to correct things. A father figure does not shy away from opposition. He confronts issues and handles them. He leaves inheritance (values) for his children which they can follow generations after him. A father is a reference point at all times.
Pastor Dimeji Elugbadebo: We have to trace the family back to God. God is the beginner of family life. He lives in the context of a family. Family by the definition of God is beyond a man and a woman and their biological children. Family as defined by God are people who are tied together by God’s purpose. Beyond the man, woman and children, anyone that can be joined to a family under the authority of the purposes of God becomes family. Brethren living with us are connected to us by purpose.
God’s original purpose for kingdom life on earth is family. If man did not fall, what we would have is the family of God. Hence the church as designed by God is not an organisation, it is a family.
Jesus gave us a definition for family. His biological family came to see Him. When He was told, He asked who his family were and defined family as they that do the will of His father in heaven. By this He was telling his family that if they do not enter into the will of God they are not his family.
Matthew 12:48–50
48 But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?
49 And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren!
50 For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.
Hence God’s concept of family is His will and purpose. The household of faith are brethren living together as family. So biological children in homes must understand that they need to be family tied by the will of God.
The blessing of fatherhood is not in natural substances. The blessing of fatherhood is to transfer spiritual blessing on the child. For instance, at a time all that Abraham gave to Isaac was lost through famine. But Isaac could yet connect to the God of his father. Hence he sowed in the land and reaped a hundredfold.
Genesis 26:12
Then Isaac sowed in that land, and received in the same year an hundredfold: and the Lord blessed him.
This shows us that the purpose of family is for transfer of spiritual blessing.
The household of faith are believers submitted under the lordship of Jesus within the context of a spiritual family that is pursuing the purpose of God.
A family should also be part of a church family. The church is a larger family. Church is made up of households that come together; Jesus through the leadership and government of that church brings vision, authority, blessing, spiritual cover, direction and nourishment for all the families.
Saints must be nurtured in the family. A man should be a man first in the family before getting married. For a brother to be qualified to have his own family, he must have first been a father in the home. He must have been nurtured in a family.
Wisdom is an important signature of fathers. Fathers are wise, they are not easily floored. They should be the mirror of God. There should be nothing that a father does not know. A father is a solution giver; a man of sound counsel.
Genesis 18:19
For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
The purpose of a household is to keep and preserve God’s way. If we dont have household of faith the ways of God will be eroded upon the earth. This is why there is much more work in the church in these time.
The first church should be the family; the household. This is where a man’s wisdom and manhood is tested. Men and women must be equipped to be fathers and mothers at home; they must ensure resource is deployed in the family for proper building. This is because without strong families we cannot have strong churches.
The household of faith is God’s definition for family, where people are living and pursuing spiritual blessing through a man and a woman that are under the authority of Christ in a larger spiritual family. It is where children are spiritually, physically nurtured with wisdom. The family is holistic; we learn financial management, discipline, neatness, hygiene, proper eating, how to relate and how to honour from the family. A family is thus a place for holistic equipping where one who goes through proper family life should be a godly seed.
Pastor Modupeola Thompson-Ehima: We would like all the panellists to give whatever is impressed on their spirit as an equipping against the opposition of the faith life in either the single or married expression.
Pastor Fisayo Elugbadebo: As believers, a lot of standards have been churned out for us via this platform. We must know that there is a kingdom ideology for family and for single life and the world also has its ideology. God will not force anything on us; He has given us choices to make. We must make the decision in our hearts to live according to God’s standard in our different estate. We must agree with the standards of God coming to us in this season
Pastor Tosin Gabriel: One of the strongest weapons of the adversary against us is to bring us to a place of self realisation, self awareness and fulfillment. This is the promotion of self that Satan sold to men. This always creates an affront against God’s will as singles, married and even in families. If a husband and wife pursue self realisation, there will always be conflict in their family. And if a single living with a family is selfish, there would be problems.
Self-realisation springs up from self-centeredness; a mindset of everything being about us. It is expressed in lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and pride of life.
As God’s people following God’s standards, we must always love the way of the cross. The cross deals with selfishness in us. Hence we must always be crucified with Christ.
Galatians 2:20
I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
It is a continuous crucifiction. If we can learn to be crucified daily, we will learn to fulfill God’s purpose for our lives as singles and married. Christ will be the centre of our lives; Christ is a selfless man who gives himself to the will of God.
Pastor Emeka Egwuchukwu: The world is advancing through civilisation. The world is also getting more complicated. Lines are being blurred and standards are being lowered. What makes humans humane is being dropped and something else creeping up in its place. Iniquity is abounding.
This makes me appreciate the doctrine of Christ and of God more. God is helping us by showing us His ways and leading us in His path. Hence we ought to give ourselves wholly to it.
1 Timothy 4:15
Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all.
Nothing else will equip us apart from this doctrine. God is not just giving us doctrine to have more information, rather he is giving us so that we can be equipped against the darkness and the corruption ravaging this present world. One thing we can do in response to that is to give ourselves wholly to it so that our profiting will appear. The profiting is a life of witness.
Pastor Dimeji Elugbadebo: Single, married and family life all have their original context in God. This means that at any point we are we must know that we are primarily ordained to bear witness to God’s life. We are living for God not for ourselves. We live in a world where the world has turned everything that God ordained against God.
Our calling as believers is to glorify God in our estates. Singles must know that singleness is about wholesomeness, soundness, devotion, purity, and undistracted focus. The married must know that married life is about being married to the purpose of God and living for God as a couple. Family life is to demonstrate God’s wisdom for family life.
We must thus make up our mind to raise the standards of God, live for and glorify God either as singles, married and in families.
Reverend Olabode Busuyi: We are privileged to be called out of the world into the glorious kingdom of God as the church. We must use this privilege well; the more we agree with God’s pattern, the more His light can manifest to us and we can be examples to other people.
If the problem in the world is showing itself in our lives and in our community then there is no reference point. This means that we are like the world and we have nothing to offer them. Hence beyond just preaching to them, the demonstration of our lives should convict them of the glory and power of God’s kingdom and the wisdom that is in God. This would be a fulfillment of Isaiah 2:2.
Isaiah 2:2
And it shall come to pass in the last days, that the mountain of the Lord's house shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills; and all nations shall flow unto it.
This tells us that God expects an emergence of the mountain so that all nations can see.
Single people must relate well, connect and not live as individuals. A person can be a part of a group and not be connected. Hence the need to relate. Our souls must connect to church and see church as family. Likewise single people must see the families in church as part of the system to connect to. This is where the virtues of life and blessing that are in the church can be drawn.
The married must know that there is still so much of themselves to give to their families. God will empower us to give more. To keep on investing and sowing. God’s concept of what family should look like must be upheld.
